*sobss*

i really do not like these two days.


THEY SUCK TO THE CORE LAH.


yeah its the days of getting back results..
there were tears there was laughter
MOSTLY TEARS LAH...


sickening asses..
my chinese and biology sucks man.
esp chinese.

OH GOD ITS REALLY BAD.
i failed. TERRIBLY.
i got a quarter of 100.
SHIT HELL ASSHOLE LAH..
this kinda shitty marks
what kinda logic is this... x(

and bio.
although i din fail.
but what, i cant even scrap a 30??
sian lah...

feeling very frustrated now.
irritated with myself.
i cant chase that feeling away.

am i just useless?
am i just impaired at languages?
am i just an idiotic FREAK?

hell this sucks.
this sucks.
everything sucks.


x(((

kelvin told me not to feel sad.
he said that if i feel that im depressed, then i am.
when actually everything around me is fine.

but i dont feel that everything around me is fine!!


i feel like im alone in this world with no one to help me.
just struggling and perservering,
with nothing coming out of it.

there are figures around me,
and they're talking.
they seem to be comforting,
but their words dont enter my head.
they just seem to make me feel even more despondant.

im sorry for everything..
i just dont know how to cherish this kind of things.
cos in the end,
my mind is the dominator and my thoughts are its weapons
and slowly slowly slowy

they just rip my soul apart.
and whats left.

is just an empty shell.
















i know im not strong enough.
there are people who are worse
but yet, they still can look towards the future.
and strive on.



how i envy them...









feeling so exasperated.
feeling so empty inside.

i really hope i dont have this thought.
i really hope that i can stand on my own.




but in the end i just stumble and fall
down on my knees on the gravel.
the pain, the bleeding.


will someone pick me up?
will someone teach me how to live life to my fullest








will someone stand by me?


























someone special










supporting
encouraging
caring














being there.












i'll be eternally grateful.

WHEEEEEE.

holidays have started.

WOOTS MAN! : DD


on the good side:
-cool i'll have lotsa time for manga/anime dling *_*
-yay i can sleep late!!
-OH I WANNA TRY COUNTERSTRIKE AND DOTA K.

on the bad side:
-shit you projects
-shit you boredom
-shit you workload

BLEH.
yeah well. today was a short day.
had PE. HAHA i totally screwed at PE. couldnt kick the ball properly.
and looked like some idiotic git. -_-

next was.. WOAH free period.
no MI WAHAHAHA.
lil miss marianne tan went to vietnam.
so good..
VIETNAM HAS A LOT OF AFFORDABLE MANGA AND ANIME MAN!

ohh and sunlaoshi let us watch spirited away.
YAYYYY FOR HERRR
but the people at the back were making so much noise.
:(

then later.. lunch lor.
then bio? bio hadta do some SEACRETS thing.
HAIS.
lol we were discussing about the qn arrangement.
aiyo make such a big fuss for what.
in the end i came up with a conclusion,
but wah so coincidental.

shoot i think the topic i chose is lagi chim lor.
SIAN..

well. i shall LIVE.

and had training today.
SHOT LIKE CRAP LA.
dieeee tmr NYT monthly lehs..

but nevertheless, i rested for a while, and shot QUITE OKAY LA..

KCC and Derek were there too.
DEREK IS SUCH AN ANNOYING PRAT.
he was like: HEHEHEE. HI.
and i was like: ..... -_____-;;

KCC was making a big fuss. like always.
he kept dropping his specs
and tearing his target cards.
wooh. what a temper. x_x

enough said.
tuition today was boring too.
shian-ded.

whatever.

yeah well. i think i better go now. TOODLES.

YAYY.


tomorrows the last paper!!

CHEERIOS EVERYONE!

we have already done our best for the past four papers,
and although there are mixed responses like:

"...aiyahh i sure fail liao laa..."
"eh? the paper quite easy leh." (lol i feel like strangling those people)
"...you know this qn whats the answer balalalala"

SO WHAT ITS STILL THE LAST PAPER TMR!!
xDDD

yeah but today was truely traumatising.
like. for chemistry i think i lost 3 mks liao.
THREE MARKS LEH.
sian....

then ma1101.
wah kao.
dont wanna talk about it la.
was sweating like mad.
OYAH
ANOTHER MR ENG INCIDENT!

[mr eng is such a hot topic ((:]

me: *sneeze sneeze* sniff sniff.
*a piece of tissue suddenly appears*
me: *looks up immediately* oh its mr eng. ah nvm nvm.
*mr eng puts tissue back in pocket*
me: *continues sniffing and being panicky*
*mr eng come back*
mr eng: you take care of yourself hor, just dont drip on the paper.

LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL.

if it wasnt for the tense atmosphere.
it if wasnt for the !@#$% paper in fronta me..
if it wasnt for my nervousness.

I WOULD HAVE BURST OUT LAUGHING MAN!!!

lol...
yeah but well.
mr eng's a really nice guy.
not only does he give out chocolates.
he gives tissues too.
thats why...


HE ROCKS MA SOCKS MAN!!


hahahahahahahaha...



oyeah and was so tired today. ):
came to school early for prize presentation.
not like i got any prize...
just stood there like a vase. -_-

then was quite blur for the rest of the day too. )):
desiree and huiwei made me nervous for the rest of the day as well!!

ARGHH

cos they were so paranoid over ma1101.
den i also paranoid with them lor... )):

and ohsix came to LT5 late today.
poor oniisan!
but im sure that wont affect him la. hes like some SMARTYPANTS..

on the other hand.
i went to LT3 late too!!
poor me. )):
AND IM SURE THAT AFFECTED ME A LOTTA LOTT.

sat at the back. alone. (...)
then he looked up lah.
you know tt time i was like so blur and stoned.
then i just look back down with a (.....) expression on my face.
and finally, i waved.
GOOD HE WAVED BACK. :DDD

his observation skills have improved. ((:


so well.
tts just abt it for today.

I SHALL TALK ABOUT BIOLOGY NOW.

dark reaction: 3RuBP (formed from 5PGAL and ATP, carbon dioxide acceptor)
3 6C intermediate (formed with 3CO2 and 3RuBP
6PGAL (formed after 3 6C intermediate becomes 6 3C, with one P from ATP and electrons from NADPH)

products: 1 PGAL for glucose, ADP and NADP+


light reaction: H2O photolysis->2H, 2E-, O->ATP synthase->ATP
light->chlorophyll A->electron acceptor->electron transport chain->electron acceptor (PS1)
-> NADP+ reductase-> NADP+ molecule-> NADPH

products: oxygen, NADPH, ATP


leaf!

cuticle: prevent excess water loss
upper epidermis: protects mesophyll
palisade mesophyll: photosynthesis
spongy mesophyll: photosynthesis, pathway of exchange of gases between stomata and palisade mesophyll
lower epidermis: protects mesophyll
stomata: contains guard cells which go turgid and flaccid for exchange of gases between leaf and atmosphere

xylem nearer to upper epidermis
phloem nearer to lower epidermis


SOMETHING LIKE THAT LA.

shit i think maybe i'll freak many people out.
hehe.

but wel.

CHEERIOS EVERYONE. ^^

*looks with half-lid eyes*

nani yo...


argh i am so freakingly tired.
as always.
i slept at 0230 yesterday

mind you.


0230!!

its a miracle i didnt faint. )x
piaing the IH information yesterday.
as well as bio and MA1101

wah bio i piaed like mad man.
esp the dark and light reactions
wasted almost all of my brain cells.
ATP.. NADPH.. ADP.. NADP+.. NADP reductase.. ATP synthase.. RUBP.. photons..

WHAT CRAP.
esp the processes.
killed me man.

UNTIL TODAY.
"...you dont have to learn the processes, just learnt the ATP and NADPH can already."
said ms tay.


those were the saddest words i have ever heard in any bio lesson.
besides those containing the word "test" and "exam" in them..
whatever.



well. pe was fine.
and MI was well. demoralising.
im scared of doing badly for my paper.
cos my language really sucks man...
i peered. i looked. did i fail?


next was maths.
haisss we went into the wrong LT.
yeah so what.
luckily there wasnt a quiz today.
if not i would've died of heartattack.
mr lee went thru some of the 1101 stuff,
like circles and all..
bla that was boring.
i was there. i tried. you looked. but. i think i failed again.



yeah lunch,
din really eat though.
no appetite ):
drank milo freeze as always.
and i found out that daniel has an impressive plan of 700freesmses.
and an even impressive rate of 1200smses sent/mth.

WOAHHH.


yeah but bio.
bio was boring la.
cept for some occasional laughs by huiwei.
huiwei is mad la i tell you.
then after tt went back to class...
i passed. you passed. but we missed..


yeah tts abt it lor.
did MI. MI was basically about knowing the truth and blaing.
actty rite, if my life was good enough
but yet it was all an illusion
and i could live in tt illuison,
i rather stay in tt illusion.
yeah tts how my mind works.
im too lazy to SEEK THE TRUTH.
which is bad for an IP student.
changeman. changeisgood.

then had discussed IH lor.
most of my info were irrelevant... ):
bt with sufficient help from kristy and desiree
all was fine. ((:

thanks guys!

after IH





homeward bound.
i find, and find and find.
but.




i fail again.



...gomenasai.

*YAWNNNN*


hais, i am seriously not getting enough sleeppppppp.


today we had pe, like we always do on wednesdays.
and i practically died.
arghhhhhhhh i tink my stamina has deproved.
eithe that or i just cant take the.

1)20 pushups
2)running across bball court (3x?)
3) runing from 1/4 of bball court and back 10times.
4)hopping across the bball court.
5)I CANT RMB.

aiyah it was just basically like that lor.
and then we had to hop up the stairs and down 10times.
the grandstand stairs la not the one linked to the canteen.
if it was that right.
I THINK I WONT BE ABLE TO WALK TMR. )):

physics test today.
ohman was it nerve-wrecking.

and WAH LAU
after school lessons.

1)ma1101
2)ma1102
3)BIO

SHITTY LA.

i made a fool of maself infronta mr eng.
MR ENG.
-__________-

scene.
*him yadaing about the math tests yadayadayada""
in my mind: "....and then theres gonna be 1102 test on fri..yada"
me: DENG. O_O
me: got test on friday ah?? test what? i duno leh!
*mr eng goes out...*
me: MR ENG!!
*freezes in his tracks. LITERALLY. with one leg up in the air*
mr eng: yes?
me: is there gonna be a test on friday? what are the subjects? how come i dunno issitgonnacoverthisandthatandthisandthat... @_@
*mr eng LEERS down and with a T_T exp*
him: you ok or nt ah...
me: *TOO SPOOKED TO RESPOND SANELY* HEHEHEHENOTHINGNOTHINGNOTHING THERESNOTESTTHERESNOTEST.
him: .....T_T *walks away*


tt was my most frightening experience with a tcher.
and its a tcher whom when he scolds.
the whole lvl can hear his mighty majestic domineering voice.

THATS MR ENG. *_*

















but nevertheless.
HES DAMN COOL MAN. wahahahaha.