*sobss*

i really do not like these two days.


THEY SUCK TO THE CORE LAH.


yeah its the days of getting back results..
there were tears there was laughter
MOSTLY TEARS LAH...


sickening asses..
my chinese and biology sucks man.
esp chinese.

OH GOD ITS REALLY BAD.
i failed. TERRIBLY.
i got a quarter of 100.
SHIT HELL ASSHOLE LAH..
this kinda shitty marks
what kinda logic is this... x(

and bio.
although i din fail.
but what, i cant even scrap a 30??
sian lah...

feeling very frustrated now.
irritated with myself.
i cant chase that feeling away.

am i just useless?
am i just impaired at languages?
am i just an idiotic FREAK?

hell this sucks.
this sucks.
everything sucks.


x(((

kelvin told me not to feel sad.
he said that if i feel that im depressed, then i am.
when actually everything around me is fine.

but i dont feel that everything around me is fine!!


i feel like im alone in this world with no one to help me.
just struggling and perservering,
with nothing coming out of it.

there are figures around me,
and they're talking.
they seem to be comforting,
but their words dont enter my head.
they just seem to make me feel even more despondant.

im sorry for everything..
i just dont know how to cherish this kind of things.
cos in the end,
my mind is the dominator and my thoughts are its weapons
and slowly slowly slowy

they just rip my soul apart.
and whats left.

is just an empty shell.
















i know im not strong enough.
there are people who are worse
but yet, they still can look towards the future.
and strive on.



how i envy them...









feeling so exasperated.
feeling so empty inside.

i really hope i dont have this thought.
i really hope that i can stand on my own.




but in the end i just stumble and fall
down on my knees on the gravel.
the pain, the bleeding.


will someone pick me up?
will someone teach me how to live life to my fullest








will someone stand by me?


























someone special










supporting
encouraging
caring














being there.












i'll be eternally grateful.