hurrah I'm back.

Feeling kind of sad and depressed right now, or maybe I'm just faking it.

Bahh, I don't even know what the hell am I feeling, how worse can I get.

Yeah well, received news that I'm out of NYT. Isn't the first time, I was kicked out last review as well. Except that this time, I don't feel as bad as before. NYT isn't a really happy place for me to be in, I just end up lagging behind others and being demoralised and all yadayada. I admit that sometimes I don't really train properly... and that my progress isn't really that consistent. But well...

I don't know whether the problem lies in me, or in NYT. Most probably it'll be me, I suppose.

The coaches aren't coaching me well too.At least my coach isn't -__-. I don't like manzheng jiaolian. He's nice and all lah, at least he does know how to teach me properly....But sometimes I feel that he's just prejudiced. Obviously, he'll prefer the NTT people and those that went for the China shooting camp, rather than me. But yeah well, it's kinda sad that I can't improve on my score on my own. I did it before! I broke the 360 barrier in the beginning of the year! So why can't I do it now....

blehhh, brooding over it isn't gonna help. Most probably I'll stay in school. School isn't a bad place, there's aircon and there's friends, and I can accompany Desiree (: But well, I gotta get used to the manual gun asap, (and prevent myself from sliding the gun across the chair) and maybe get over the emotional trauma of me getting kicked out of NYT.

It's rather shameful, and a letdown to myself to get kicked out of NYT again. It's not that easy to get into NYT in the first place, whats worse now, when everyones standard has improved much much more. >___< Bahh, just forget about NYT and everything else.

and now I can't visit the fishshop uncle anymore. I think that's the thing I miss most in Yishun. ><>< haiiii....

人就是这样，直到放弃，才会开始珍惜我们所失去的。