it's rather scary that people like to post personal stuff on their blogs. >.< I don't find anything wrong with it, just that sometimes it makes me feel kind of nervous.


oh well, today wasn't a really memorable day. Woke up bright and early for school to record the racing videos on jiashengs hp. At least the presentation was rather successful! (: the people laughed! Now, that's an accomplishment. (: But it wasn't me though, it was xiulun who wrote the little itsy bitsy parts said by jiasheng. So no matter how reluctant I am to say this, you gotta love her ;D

Lala, strangely, LA was rather boring today. More boring than usual. >.< Hai, I think I just do not have anyyyy interest at all in expository. The problem is, expository is a kind of important english topic to learn.



Okay honestly, yeah I admit, I am afraid of offending people. I don't know why. I think it was just a childhood experience. I remember once, how I was left alone, how I was isolated from the other friends. It was horrible, it was a terrible, horrible experience. And it was because I voiced out my own opinions.

This shadow has been casted upon me ever since. I can only remember vaguely the confident times in primary school. My mother used to say how decisive I was in primary school, how brilliant I was as a leader. Was I really like that? If I was, then why can't I be like that now?

It's irritating seriously. This disconfidence of mine is pulling me down: it's stopping me from doing all the things I want to do, it's stopping me from progressing, it's stopping me from shining. Most importantly, it's slowly disabling me. Eating my soul from within. Embracing acceptance whenever I am, even when my pride is at stake. I'm just a puppet for manipulation, nothing else.

Totally sick, totally disgusted. I have forgotten how to express my anger, my dissatisfaction. Everything is just stored, piled up, within my soul. Until the day comes in which I explode.


Please, free me from this.